Zoolander 2 Movie Review

2001’s Zoolander was an often uproarious novelty of a pic that showed Ben Stiller’s ability to essentially take a sketch character and stretch the premise out successfully for 90 minutes. The original took us into the incredibly narcissistic and dumb world of male modeling coupled with nonsensical international intrigue involving the attempted assassination of the Malaysian prime minister. It worked because of its star/director’s enthusiasm behind it and the fact it was a pretty original comedy at the time.

Most movies in this genre don’t need sequels. This is one of them. The novelty has worn badly. Zoolander 2 brings back almost everything and everyone that made us laugh fifteen years ago and has no clue what to do with them. Derek Zoolander (Stiller) is now a has been model living as a recluse. This is following a tragic accident involving his Center for Kids Who Can’t Read Good that was erected in the predecessor’s conclusion. His family life is shattered as is his ability to lock down his iconic facial expressions at opportune moments.

Derek soon finds himself recruited (by Billy Zane no less) to return to the real world when gorgeous celebrities start being offed. An Interpol agent (Penelope Cruz) believes both he and Hansel (Owen Wilson) can be of service. The bonkers plot (so was Zoolander’s, to be fair) finds a way to bring back Mugatu (Will Ferrell), in addition to scores of celeb cameos from the music and fashion world. The Fountain of Youth is involved. Derek finds himself trying to connect with his estranged son. Oh and Sting plays himself as a somewhat mythical figure, which isn’t much of a stretch. And there’s Kristin Wiig in unrecognizable makeup as a designer.

Any picture with these performers will have a few funny moments just based on the odds. I will admit that Kiefer Sutherland (playing himself) and his relationship status with Hansel provided a smile. And yet they are truly few and far between. Zoolander 2 is a title in search of a reason to exist that doesn’t find it. It feels lazy, unneeded, and desperate. For a director like Stiller that has shown so much ability with part one and Tropic Thunder and others, it’s surprising to find No. 2 even looking and feeling drab. I was satisfied at the original when Derek flashed Blue Steel, that magical look. It’s here, but my advice is look away. There’s little magic around.

*1/2 (out of four)

 

Top Ten Summer Music Hits of 1985: A Look Back

And now for something completely new on this here blog!

For the last three summers, I’ve pontificated on the Top Ten Summer Hits of seasons that came 20 and 10 years before. I just posted my retrospective of 1995 films yesterday on the site and I’ll have my post regarding 2005 up on Friday or over the weekend.

This got me thinking. About this midpoint of summer, many of us wonder what the true song of the summer is. Good thing Billboard keeps track of such items of curiosity and it allows us to delve back 30 years and then 20 years and then 10 years.

Therefore, today’s post will travel back in time to 1985 to give you the Top Ten Summer Music Hits of 1985, along with my quick takes on them and the all important question: is it on my iTunes?

I’ll follow up tomorrow with the top summer jams and ballads of 1995 and on Thursday with 2005. For now, it’s time for some 80s nostalgia and I’ll rate each track (my personal opinion of course) on a scale of 1 (awful) to 10 (summer hit masterpiece).

10. “Never Surrender” by Corey Hart

The first single of Mr. Hart’s second album is one of those cheesy 80s ballads with an even more gloriously cheesy video to accompany it. I had actually forgotten about this song and it frankly didn’t leave much of an impression. Truth be told, when I think of Corey, I think of his first hit single the year prior… in which he wore his sunglasses. At night.

My Rating: 4

Is It On My iTunes? No

9. “Heaven” by Bryan Adams

Our second Canadian solo singer on this list after Mr. Hart is Mr. Bryan Adams and one of his signature tunes. The raspy voiced crooner fares much better here than Mr. Hart. The track would be covered with success sixteen years later by DJ Sammy in a sped up dance hall version.

My Rating: 7 and a half

Is It On My iTunes? No

8. “St. Elmo’s Fire (Man in Motion” by John Parr

OK, now we’re talking. The title track for Joel Schumacher’s Brat Pack hit is a guilty pleasure if there ever was one and I’m not ashamed to admit I quite dig it. Mr. Parr is English by the way, so our streak of American artists so far is 0-3.

My Rating: 9

Is It On My iTunes? Yes

7. “Raspeberry Beret” by Prince and the Revolution

America in the form of Minneapolis and its funky little genius finally appears with the first single off Prince’s Around the World in a Day album, which followed his massive Purple Rain juggernaut. This tune sounds more 60s influenced than anything that had come before on the Purple One’s resume and it’s an infectious groove that still holds up today, like pretty much everything he’s done. It misses a 10 only in comparison to some of his other masterworks.

My Rating: 9 and a half

Is It On My iTunes? Yes

**NO VIDEO as Prince doesn’t allow his material on YouTube

6. “If You Love Somebody Set Them Free” by Sting

This jazzy and reggae tinged jam marks the first solo release of Sting’s career after the breakup of The Police. It’s a rock solid beginning to one heckuva output over the next three decades.

My Rating: 8

Is It On My iTunes? Yes

5. “Sussudio” by Phil Collins

The first single of his No Jacket Required album, I’m still not sure what this song is about but there are some catchy horns. This has never been one of my favorite tracks from an artist I like tremendously, but it’s still fairly decent.

My Rating: 6 and a half

Is It On My iTunes: Yes (mostly because I own his greatest hits)

4. “A View to a Kill” by Duran Duran

The English boy band gave us this theme song to the final Roger Moore 007 picture and it’s a beauty, unlike the movie. One of the all time best Bond themes and my favorite track on this list.

My Rating: 10

Is It On My iTunes? Yes

3. “The Power of Love” by Huey Lewis and the News

Another movie connection here as Huey Lewis (and his news friends) had their first #1 hit with this track from the Back to the Future soundtrack. It’s a supremely pleasant power ballad that’ll leave you smiling, as so much of Huey’s music did.

My Rating: 8

Is It On My iTunes? No

2. “Everytime You Go Away” by Paul Young

If this sounds like a Hall and Oates song, it’s because Daryl Hall wrote it and gave it to Mr. Young, who turned it into a #1 single. It would be used two years later in the closing scene of Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. It’s solid, though I don’t love it.

My Rating: 7

Is It On My iTunes? No

1. “Shout” by Tears for Fears

The band’s signature tune ranks highest on the list of 1985 summer anthems. And it is indeed truly an anthem – a big sounding song that gave the group its largest hit. And it’s easy to sing along to in the chorus when you let it all out…

My Rating: 9

Is It On My iTunes: No

And there you have it my friends! I’ll have 1995 up tomorrow…