Tag: movie reviews

The School for Good and Evil Review

The most prominent wicked force in The School for Good and Evil wants to eradicate the educational institution forever and all the characters that inhabit it. Once that was revealed, I found myself rooting for the villain’s plot to succeed. That would mean no sequels to this misguided and criminally long Netflix adaptation of Soman Chainani’s 2013 fantasy novel. There’s been several follow-ups to the written work. I won’t hold back my wish to see no more of the adventures that Cate Blanchett’s narration can’t even save.

A prologue hints at the convoluted and overstuffed plot and unimpressive CG to come. Brothers Rhian and Rafal (both played by Kit Young) have formed The School for Good and Evil (even the title could use some imagination). It’s essentially a training ground for youngsters to become players in well-known fairytales. Rafal soon double-crosses his sibling and wants all the unholy power to… be more evil? Change the happy endings of our celebrated books to tragic ones? The stakes were never clear to me or perhaps I just stopped caring.

Many moons later and away from the school in a small village, Sophie (Sophia Anne Caruso) is obsessed with princesses like Cinderella. Bored with her surroundings, she longs for acceptance to the fantastical academy. Her best friend is Agatha (Sofia Wylie) and the townspeople are convinced she’s a witch. Unlike Sophie, she has no designs on attending anywhere where Evil would likely be her team. Soon enough, they are transported there and (surprise!) Agatha is dropped off on the Good side with Sophie on the Evil one.

The friends are certain their assignments are a mistake. The School Master (Laurence Fishburne), Good School Professor Dovey (Kerry Washington), and Evil Department Head Leonora Lesso (Charlize Theron) aren’t so sure. Errors such as this don’t occur. Beyond their placements, there’s an Ivy League vibe happening with legacy admissions. Sons of Prince Charming and King Arthur are undergrads. The latter is Tedros (Jamie Flatters) and Sophie wants to prove her Princess bonafides by charming him. Yet he might have eyes for Agatha.

Much of the film is devoted to Sophie and Agatha figuring out their roles at the school. The nearly 150 minute runtime to do so is bloated. Paul Feig, director of Bridesmaids and A Simple Favor, knows how to keep comedies and satirical mysteries moving at a reasonably snappy pace. That’s a skill forgotten in this overstuffed and often garish looking experience. Only Wylie’s performance is worth a bit of praise. I know overacting is supposed to happen in this genre but with a poor screenplay, it’s not a good look for a lot of the cast (that includes Theron and Washington).

When the students achieve their magical abilities, their fingers illuminate. Kinda like E.T.! Unlike that 40-year-old alien’s pic, what’s missing is the sense of wonder. The third act culminates at a fancy ball where a campy vibe and halfway decent makeup effects hint at what could’ve been. In case you couldn’t tell, I didn’t have a ball at The School for Good and Evil.

*1/2 (out of four)

The Curse of Bridge Hollow Review

Marlon Wayans is a frequent presence in comedic horror mashups and they’ve been of the R rated variety with Scary Movie and its first sequel and A Haunted House and its follow-up. On the Netflix circuit, The Curse of Bridge Hollow ditches the scatological humor for a family friendly concoction about a Halloween obsessed town where the decorations come to life. It’s not hard to envision Adam Sandler or Eddie Murphy in the Dad role that Wayans fills. In fact, Sandler mined similar territory recently with Hubie Halloween. This one isn’t exactly a treat, but I found it more tolerable than that one.

Howard Gordon (Wayans) is a science teacher transported from Brooklyn to Bridge Hollow, a small New England town that looks quaint but is far from it. The residents wear their Patriots jerseys loudly and talk even more thunderously about the town’s spooky history. It involves the tale of Stingy Jack, whose mythology gave us the Jack-o’-lantern. You don’t want to wake him and that’s precisely what Howard’s teenage daughter Sydney does when they settle into their haunted house. She’s played by Priah Ferguson, a consistent bright spot on Netflix’s Stranger Things. The father/daughter relationship is a cliched one with Howard as the overbearing holiday skeptic who just needs to listen more. Mom (Kelly Rowland) really gets the short shrift. Her defining character trait is that she bakes inedible vegan desserts. The screenplay could’ve done better than “the wife can’t cook” material for the former Destiny’s Child and Freddy vs. Jason star.

Priah and Dad must get over their differences as they battle a slew of creatures of the crawly and skeletal variety. The special effects aren’t half bad. Hollow is aimed squarely at delighting kids and placating the adult supervision. It’s an easy and breezy watch and Wayans seems committed to the part. That’s more than I could say for Murphy, who appeared downright bored in The Haunted Mansion. Ferguson, on the other hand, doesn’t quite get to display the personality that’s so winning on her smash hit role as Erica Sinclair. A few chuckles come from a supporting cast including Rob Riggle, John Michael Higgins, and Lauren Lapkus as Bridge Hollow’s very New England accented Mayor.

Jeff Wadlow, whose traditional scary movies Truth or Dare and Fantasy Island were subpar, directs. Bridge Hollow is better than either of them. I realize all of my compliments likely sound hollow. That’s not inaccurate, but youngsters could do worse than dialing this up and the more seasoned viewer shouldn’t curse themselves for having to watch it.

**1/2 (out of four)

Bodies Bodies Bodies Review

The rich, entitled, and woke characters in Halina Reijn’s Bodies Bodies Bodies don’t need to be likable and they certainly aren’t. They do need interesting dialogue and a compelling or frightening storyline to work with. That happens too rarely in this monotonous satiric slasher with its takedown of the elite class.

Drinking, pills, and hard drugs are on the menu at the mansion of David (Pete Davidson) as a hurricane is about to supply its own blow. Sophie (Amandla Stenberg) is a childhood friend with a similar silver spoon upbringing. She brings her Eastern European partner Bee (Maria Bakalova, recently an Oscar nominee for Borat Subsequent Moviefilm) to the rainy day soiree. Others RSVP’d are David’s actress girlfriend Emma (Chase Sui Wonders), podcaster Alice (Rachel Sennott) and her older beau Greg who’s also a vet (Lee Pace), and Jordan (Myha’la Herrold), who may share a romantic past with Sophie.

Previous substance abuse keeps Sophie from partaking in the fun but the others get their buzzkills when murders dampen the festivities. The first body pops up during the title game and more follow. As the count increases, we discover what the screenplay from Sarah DeLappe is really getting at. Even as lives are brutally lost, the partygoers manage to make the bloodshed somehow about them. You suspect that the suspects are mentally taking notes on how they’ll Instagram or Tik Tok the trauma. Let’s call it Keeping Up with the Carnage to bring in a reference to Mr. Davidson’s ex.

Unfortunately the screenplay strains mightily to make them anything more than blank caricatures. Not enough witty lines make the cut. Sennott’s Alice has the most potential. Maybe she should’ve been granted more material. Bakalova, so winning alongside Sacha Baron Cohen, is lost in a bore of a part. There’s a clever if familiar tale trying to break out in Bodies Bodies Bodies. My post mortem concludes that it mostly fails.

** (out of four)

Tàr Review

Todd Field’s Tár is told from the myopic perspective of its title character played masterfully by Cate Blanchett. This is a disconcerting and wildly original choice and it’s a perfect one upon reflection. We as the audience, in a two hour and 40 minute burn, slowly discover more about a conductor’s conduct. We don’t really see it and that seems right because she doesn’t either. At least Lydia Tár won’t acknowledge it and doesn’t appear capable of doing so.

Being celebrated in a packed house interview by The New Yorker, Tár has climbed the composition ladder to the top. Now the chief conductor for the Berlin Philharmonic, she’s a rare EGOT recipient (Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony). Having written a book grandly titled Tár On Tár, her orchestra and her scholars (she guest lectures at Juilliard on occasion) hang on her every motion and word. Almost. We catch an early glimpse of a student challenging her and it’s not a pretty sight. It’s surreptitiously filmed for social media consumption and that causes embarrassment (more for the team around her than the ambivalent lecturer).

This is nothing compared to what’s coming. Tár’s personal life is in a constant state of hinted perilousness. At first, her marriage to violin player Sharon (Nina Hoss) seems ideal with their young daughter and lush surroundings. However, the separate apartment that Tár keeps raises flags. Personal assistant Francesca (Noémie Merlant) is in line for a huge promotion from her boss. There’s unclear happenings from the past that keep her from elevating. Most disturbingly, a young colleague and perhaps former lover is alleging misdeeds from the grave.

Our window into Tár’s newsworthy liabilities are showcased mostly through her budding relationship with a gifted (at least as her mentor immediately sees it) Russian cellist (Sophie Kauer). There is a creeping feeling of the narcissism and transactional nature of all her interactions. When she’s performing her lauded work, a wave of the hand silences rehearsal. A figurative wave of the hand seems to flick away individuals who are no longer useful.

As her world starts to crumble, we witness it through Tár’s point of view. It is one in which there’s a refusal to tolerate increasing voices speaking up. Field, in his first picture in 16 years, trains his camera on Blanchett in nearly every frame. His screenplay has created a multifaceted character with potentially unforgivable shortcomings and undeniable gifts.

Blanchett’s transformation into this complicated figure is its own work of art. She’s mesmerizing and awards voters may grant landslide reactions. Hoss and Merlant provide impressive support as their characters hang on to the last remnants of assistance in their unbalanced bonds with The Maestro.

When the curtain finally falls on Tár, it does so surprisingly. It left me questioning what the film was trying to say about artistic genius and the lengths such a prodigy will go to maintain their control and image. This is a challenging, deliberative, and rewarding experience. You can’t dismiss the wave of the many strong hands involved, especially the lead.

***1/2 (out of four)

Dark Phoenix Review

If at first you don’t succeed, try and fail again. Dark Phoenix is the 12th feature in the X-Men universe. It continues the significant dip in quality that we witnessed in predecessor X-Men: Apocalypse. While it’s not necessarily worse, the mystique of this franchise was pierced last time around and the bloodshed continues here. We also have Jennifer Lawrence as Mystique and, like in Apocalypse, it seems she’d rather be elsewhere.

Like 2006’s X-Men: The Last Stand, this is focused on Jean Grey’s origin story. A 1975 flashback shows how she became an orphan and it’s got a lot to do with her telekinetic mutant powers. We already know that Charles Xavier (James McAvoy) quickly brought her into School for Gifted Youngsters after a tragedy and she grows up to be played by Sophie Turner. By 1992, Jean’s abilities are accentuated in outer space while rescuing a group of astronauts with her colleagues. It also triggers some repressed memories, putting her at odds with her mentor. That’s not the only collateral damage from Jean’s galactic adventures. An alien race known as the D’Bari had their planet inadvertently destroyed by this particular gifted youngster. Jessica Chastain is Vuk, an extra-terrestrial leader looking to harness those gifts for her own use. Like Oscar Isaac in Apocalypse, Chastain represents another talented performer wasted in a forgettable villain role.

While X-Men: First Class had cheeky fun with its 60s setting and Days of Future Past grooved to a 70s vibe, Phoenix does nothing with the early 90s time frame (other than not aging the actors appropriately). Even Apocalypse tried to capitalize on the 80s retro craze.

Missed opportunities to dwell on a decade and boring baddies aren’t the worst problem. Jean Grey isn’t a compelling character in her own film and Turner’s bland acting shines that light brighter. When Michael Fassbender shows up from time to time, it’s a reminder that his island getaway and small army of followers might offer up a cooler storyline. I know that comic book lovers hold the Dark Phoenix Saga in high regard, but they’e been given the short shrift twice now. Maybe Fassbender, his effortless magnetism, and the backstory of his current circumstances might have more firepower.

This is Simon Kinberg’s first at bat directing the series. He is responsible for writing The Last Stand so he’s .000 with the Grey matter. I guess he’s .250 on his X screenplays as he also penned Apocalypse but had a hit with Days of Future Past. Some of the violent encounters are dimly presented and plenty of the CG is subpar. A final set piece aboard a train has the most competent technical work and random moments of effective action. That doesn’t come close to saving this. The X-Men have been off the rails for two movies in a row.

** (out of four)

Emily the Criminal Review

The message in Emily the Criminal seems to be that a felony cannot be overcome no matter the well-intentioned convictions of the felon. In John Patton Ford’s directorial debut, the odds against the title character are as stacked as the giant aluminum food trays she hauls to corporate luncheons in her dreary day and sometimes night job. Another career opportunity starts out as fast money and remains so but becomes increasingly less easy. An alternative path to legitimacy is frustratingly and convincingly shown as more challenging.

Emily (Aubrey Plaza), an L.A. resident by way of New Jersey, is knee deep in student loan debt as she scrapes by in the meal delivery industry. Her options are limited due to an assault charge. Her friend Liz (Megalyn Echikunwoke) tries to get her in on the ground floor at an ad agency though the timing never seems right.

A coworker hips Emily to the “dummy shopping” game where she purchases pricey items with fake credit cards. With the promise of making $200 for a hour’s worth of work buying a flatscreen TV, the initial gambit pays off flawlessly. She’s introduced to one of the ringleaders Youcef (Theo Rossi) and her second assignment hints at the risks lying ahead. However, there is no amount of bulk sandwich spreads that can compete with the bread earned. Soon a romance develops between Emily and Youcef while the latter’s up in the chain brother (Jonathan Avigdori) doesn’t welcome her presence.

Known more for her sardonic sense of humor, Plaza once again shows she has dramatic chops (we witnessed it in Black Bear too). Emily’s circumstances naturally make her a sympathetic figure yet the star and writer/director Ford develop a multidimensional figure. This warts and all approach elevates the narrative. She’s neither a hero or a villain and it appears a share of her problems are self-inflicted. A job interview as she’s screened by Liz’s boss (Gina Gershon) arguably displays this. Her main character trait is she’s a survivor. Plaza excels at exhibiting the determination.

Ford is a filmmaker to watch. He employs a gritty 80s thriller vibe in this saga of perilously living and hopefully not dying in Los Angeles. Crime might just pay in Emily the Criminal and I felt rewarded as we see if this leads to her decline.

***1/2 (out of four)

Mr. Harrigan’s Phone Review

Mr. Harrigan’s Phone is the second best Blumhouse Production this year with a phone featured prominently in the plot and adapted from a work by Stephen King or someone in his immediate family. That might be praiseworthy if there were ten, but there’s just The Black Phone (stemming from a story by Stephen’s son Joe Hill) and this one from Dad.

In 2003, young Craig (Colin O’Brien) loses his mother and leads a lonely life in Maine with his father (Joe Tippett). The grieving is broken up when the wealthiest man in the state Mr. Harrigan (Donald Sutherland) gives him a job. Craig travels to his mansion three times a week to read thick novels to the elderly listener whose eyesight is weak – from Crime and Punishment to Lady Chatterly’s Lover and Heart of Darkness. These classic tales hold more meaning for Craig as five years pass and he grows into Jaeden Martell (from a far stronger King adaptation It). So does his friendship with Harrigan as they both are seeking meaningful companionship.

By 2008, a bad apple threatens to poison the bond. That would be Apple’s iPhone. The new device is all the rage and Craig eventually convinces his dad to get him one. This game of telephone continues when the teenager gifts one to his billionaire reading club compadre. The once uninterrupted reading sessions are briefly disrupted by the device’s easy ability to distract.

It takes an unnecessarily long time to reach this point, but (spoiler alert?) Harrigan dies (something revealed in the trailer). Craig makes the seemingly kind gesture of placing the departed’s Steve Jobs application in the casket. Saved under his contacts as The Pirate King (would’ve been a better title than this extremely generic one), Craig soon discovers a potentially supernatural connection with his late friend.

Phone comes from John Lee Hancock, whose biggest hits have been inspirational sports dramas like The Rookie and The Blind Side. This could’ve used a lot more pep as this is a frequently drab affair. There were creepier consistencies in his last picture The Little Things, which I found far more recommendable than this. In fact, this is about as frightening as The Rookie or The Blind Side. 

Sutherland and Martell are of no fault. Their chemistry makes the first half or so far more tolerable. The film’s concept probably better fit the short story format that the legendary author framed it in. When Harrigan is buried, this becomes a ho hum revenge saga with a boring high school bully (Cyrus Arnold) and then a kindly teacher (Kirby Howell-Baptiste) who is wronged. It also stumbles with its attempts to say something about our overuse of technology.

Despite the chemistry of the two leads, the screenplay from Hancock is a disservice to them. I took the novel approach with Mr. Harrigan’s Phone – meaning reading one by King or one of the ones Craig recites would have been a wiser use of my minutes.

** (out of four)

Vengeance Review

After writing and directing episodes (and of course costarring) in The Office, B.J. Novak turns his triple threat talents to his big screen debut Vengeance. This dark comedy takes his Big Apple journalist Ben Manalowitz and bobs him into the Texas waters of Whataburgers, guns, and football. That’s where liking the wrong college gridiron squad is enough to get your car blown up (something that’s very believable to this reviewer typing this in Columbus, Ohio).

We meet Ben on the East Coast having a vapid conversation at a party with a guy named John played by none other than John Mayer. They extol the virtues of being single along with proper text etiquette for a late night booty call. His detachment to commitment is evidenced by the way he saves women in his phone. For example, there’s “Brunette Random House Party”. This eventually causes confusion because Ben can’t remember if that listing refers to a hookup from a casual gathering or a dark haired girl from an event put on by the publishing giant.

One of the entries is Abby Shaw. Ben hasn’t seen her for a little while and one night (while in bed with the aforementioned Random), he gets a call that she’s dead. Not only has she passed, but her brother Ty (Boyd Holbrook) suspects murder. And there’s no ifs, ands, or buts as Ben is expected to travel to Abby’s home Lone Star state for the funeral. The Shaw family, from sassy grandma to a little brother called El Stupido (he’s not offended because he doesn’t speak Spanish), were led to think their guest was her serious boyfriend. The Shaw clan also assumes Ben will be up for finding and extending Texas style justice to the killer.

Ben makes the trip for business and not revenge reasons as he believes this could make an intriguing and profitable podcast. His producer Eloise (Issa Rae) agrees. She reasons that dead white girls always sell. It’s not until Abby’s demise that Ben starts to learn about his former fling and maybe even care about her. He needs to figure out whether she was offed or if it was the opiate overdose that was offered as an official explanation. This means talking to the locals who are constantly quirky and consistently armed. Sometimes it feels like Novak’s screenplay has its characters act opposite of their caricatures for a quick and cheap chuckle.

One exception is Ashton Kutcher’s record producer where Abby was cutting demos. He has two big scenes and shines in both. The first is when the movie is on an upswing. The second occurs as this is collapsing under the weight of its admirable ambitions with an ending that rings false.

This isn’t a real story – it’s about how a faceless legion of podcast listeners will react to these characters (never mind that they’re actual people). At least that’s how Ben and his producer approach Abby’s demise. The script is filled with many fascinating ideas about divisions in the country represented by the lead’s New Yorker in this desolate setting. Novak doesn’t quite manage to bring it together though there’s plenty of genuinely funny dialogue and setups along the way. By the third act, his character’s actions defy believability.

Vengeance may eventually serve as our recording of a first time director somewhat clumsily finding his way. The targets hit are mostly in the comedic space while those with heftier themes tend to misfire. There’s times when I wanted to give the filmmaker a Texas sized toast for the attempt. When the script’s less effective elements pop up… well, bless his heart for trying.

**1/2 (out of four)

Halloween Ends Review

One of the most violent moments in Halloween Ends involves an actual record (as in the vinyl variety) skipping and it’s one of the cooler parts of this trilogy ender. There’s also many instances where a record skipping sound effect would’ve been appropriate. As in – what in the world is this movie doing?!?! 

Our final pairing of Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) and Michael Myers after almost four and a half decades features some bewilderingly bad decisions. The odd choices that don’t work stack up higher than the body count. On the plus side, I at least found its unpredictable nature to be more intriguing than most of what occurred in predecessor Halloween Kills. Does that make it better? Probably not. It means neither were of much quality and 2018’s starter was just OK too. That could be the legacy of the 11th, 12th, and 13th overall franchise entries.

In Haddonfield, Illinois in 2019, there were tragedies on the spooky holiday not related to Mr. Myers. Corey (Rohan Campbell) is babysitting a young boy when their game of hide and seek takes an unplanned head banging turn. Though accidental in nature, Corey is looked upon as a pariah by the townspeople four years later. He does find a sympathetic figure in Allyson (Andi Matichak), granddaughter of Laurie who is accustomed to grief. Their blossoming romance concerns Grandma, who notices something is off with Corey in a way that reminds her of her tormentor (who’s been AWOL).

This previous paragraph could beg your question: why is a dude who accidentally offed a kid and his strange relationship with Allyson getting so much attention? Well, it’s what Halloween Ends is about for quite a while. On that level, there are problems. First and foremost, any character development of Allyson from the first two features is slashed as she inexplicably falls for Corey in about five minutes. I’m not asking for realism in this genre, but this romance is a badly developed one.

Myers is often a supporting player in Ends along with Laurie (though she has more to do than her bedridden hospital appearance in Kills). Instead we have the potential Natural Born Killers like union of Corey/Allyson and the former dealing with boring high school bullies and his domineering mother. What we expect from a Halloween flick, eh??

Truth be told, my interest piqued a little when I realized David Gordon Green and his three cowriters (including Danny McBride) were going off the rails. The diversionary tactics mostly stall. By the time we get to the showdown between Laurie and Myers, it seems almost anticlimactic. Even though this trilogy ignores everything after 1978’s brilliant original, we’ve kinda been there and done that with 1998’s Halloween: H2O. 

Curtis brings the tough survivor attitude that we’ve witnessed before and it helps in the final act. Campbell truly is the lead character and his performance is shaky at best. I’m not sure I buy the “ends” part of the title though Laurie and Michael’s saga does appear to have reached its conclusion. Maybe The Shape will take another form someday in the reboot/requel/prequel or whatever term comes next. The mediocrity of this three-arch journey dies here.

** (out of four)

Luckiest Girl Alive Review

Luckiest Girl Alive tackles weighty subjects and reinforces its messages by eventually having Mila Kunis’s Ani look directly to camera to state them in case you weren’t listening. Based on a 2015 bestseller by Jessica Knoll, Mike Barker’s adaptation juggles two 1999 tragedies – the first is kept under wraps for some time. It leads to a school shooting in which Kunis’s younger self is suspected of participating. In the present day, one of the wounded parties confined to a wheelchair (Alex Barone) is monetizing such a narrative.

Ani is a talented writer penning witty relationship columns for a slightly trashy magazine. The work is noticed enough that she’s up for a gig at The New York Times. She’s engaged to Luke (Finn Wittrock), sweet and supportive and coming from money. We learn that status is important to Ani. Flashbacks (where Ani is played by Chiara Aurelia) show us a teenager attending a fancy private school. Unlike her peers, she’s not rich and her mom (Connie Britton) is constantly offering flawed advice on how to climb the societal ladder.

In addition to the story often shifting between the turn of the century and 2015, Kunis provides frequent voiceovers. Her biting inner monologue usually doesn’t match what she says out loud (expect in one humorous instance). Ani has learned to keep prior tragedies buried away. All of that is risked when a documentary filmmaker (Dalmar Abuzeid) finally convinces her to take part in his project. Its focus is to get to the bottom of everything that occurred when violence erupted in the halls. The acts of violation aren’t just unique to the shooters.

As mentioned, the screenplay (and book I assume) are told so that some crimes are slow rolled into big reveals. Perhaps it worked in novelistic form. It comes across as clunky in the adaptation and even a little cheap considering the seriousness of its themes. Characters are arbitrarily introduced like Ani’s kindly teacher (Scoot McNairy). He tends to pop up as the plot necessitates it.

Our lead strays far away from recent comedic roles and does a commendable job. Other players – like Britton as the boozy and conflicted mom – are saddled with one-note roles (that applies to Wittrock too). I wish the structure served its top actress and the others more smoothly. This meditation on trauma can feel too often like a rough draft.

** (out of four)