Let’s start with the fact with Mike Schmidt (Josh Hutcherson), the night guard at the now abandoned entertainment center in Five Nights at Freddy’s is just bad at his job. It’s an excuse to sleep, but there’s a purpose. He’s trying to conjure up the circumstances of what happened to his kidnapped brother years ago. Mike believes his visions during the dreams will lead to finding his sibling or at least uncovering who took him. Emma Tammi’s adaptation of the wildly successful video game series that began in 2014 (which I have no familiarity with) might lead to counting sheep as well, especially in the first half. That’s instead of counting on the animatronic animals to provide worthy scares. It doesn’t happen often.
The genealogical drama doesn’t stop at the protagonist’s abduction visions. He also has a much younger sister Abby (Piper Rubio). Their aunt (Mary Stuart Masterson) wants custody for the paycheck. Mike is desperate for employment to keep little sis with him. He reluctantly accepts the graveyard shift at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza. Matthew Lillard of Scream distinction interviews him for the gig. The long closed pie shop with four singing critters probably would’ve been an awesome experience back in the 1980s. I could imagine Eleven and the Stranger Things gang or a Goonie hanging at it while working with a better script. Freddy’s is mysteriously not torn down. Kindly and pretty policewoman Vanessa (Elizabeth Lail) tells Mike they have a tough time keeping guards on duty. Apparently security during the day is not warranted.
By night 3 of Mike’s gig that he can’t stay alert for, he is forced to bring Abby along. That’s at about the midway point when we already know the house band is capable of wreaking havoc on unwanted visitors. They befriend Abby while Mike is confounded by their existence. At least he’s awake now even if Hutcherson’s performance is missing much of a pulse. I was less groggy too after muddling through the Schmidt family misfortunes for almost an hour. The bear, rabbit, chick, and fox come from Jim Henson’s Creature Shop and they are effective creature designs.
If only the screenplay (cowritten by the game’s creator Scott Cawthorn) allowed them to play more in their venue. We have a promising setting that is underutilized. I know this is massively successful IP with millions of young diehard fans and maybe this will deliver for them. Regular old horror fans unfamiliar with the source material (like me) have to settle for infrequent PG-13 frights. I found myself hungering to see what kind of Reagan era games occurred when kiddie customers were devouring mediocre pizza instead of the overly plotted mechanics served here. That makes it hard to recommend one night in this setting so I just say no.
** (out of four)
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