At the close of all my “007 Files” blog posts, which will conclude whenever Skyfall is released on Blu Ray, I will reveal my list of Bond films in order of preference. This will likely not be an easy task, but I can tell you one thing so far without a doubt in my mind: 1971’s Diamonds Are Forever is the seventh picture of the franchise and it is unquestionably the worst of all I’ve watched so far. It simply pales in comparison to the six that came before it.
After it was decided that George Lazenby would not be invited back for a second engagement as 007, Bond producers Cubby Broccoli and Harry Saltzman thought it was time to find a new Bond. American actor John Gavin, most known for playing Janet Leigh’s lover in Psycho, was actually signed to a contract to play 007. However, United Artists had a different idea. They wanted Sean Connery back. Big time. And they were willing to pay an (at the time) astronomical sum of $1.25 million to get him. Connery obliged and Diamonds Are Forever marks Connery’s last time as 007 in an official capacity. He would return 12 years later in the role in Never Say Never Again, which is not considered an official film in the Bond cannon. That picture will not get a write-up in “The 007 Files”, though I’ll likely blog about it at a later time.
Critical and audience reaction to George Lazenby was tepid, so I’m sure it was a very welcome announcement that Connery would return. Added to that: Diamonds Are Forever basically brings back the Goldfinger team – director Guy Hamilton and screenwriter Richard Maibaum. The film is co-written by Bond first-timer Tom Mankiewicz. Even Shirley Bassey, who sang the classic “Goldfinger”, returns for this film’s theme song. It’s a good one.
The conventional wisdom among some Bond aficionados is that the franchise took a turn for the silly when Roger Moore took over the role, two years after this movie. I would respectfully challenge them to watch Diamonds Are Forever again. This is the movie where the 007 franchise practically turns to self parody. It’s often not a pretty sight.
The examples are many: the main Bond girl Tiffany Case (Jill St. John) is portrayed a total airhead. While earlier Bond girls have often been integral in helping 007, the character of Tiffany is just a dumb girl who seems to mess up anything she touches. She’s the most badly written Bond gal so far and St. John’s performance is, frankly, annoying. Blofeld is the main villain again and while Charles Gray’s performance is decent, it doesn’t match the impression that Donald Pleasance and Telly Savalas left in the previous two pictures. We also are subjected to the very unfortunate of Blofeld in drag. Not pleasant.
None of that matches even more unpleasant elements in the film. First, the ridiculous characters of Bambi and Thumper, two gymnast bodyguard villains. They have a fight scene with Bond that is notable for one thing… the absolutely atrocious acting of the women playing the girls. Watch for yourself if you don’t believe me.
And then there’s the characters of Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd, played by Bruce Glover and Putter Smith. They are Blofeld henchman who happen to be a gay couple. I’m not sure how un-PC the way the film portrays them went over in 1971, but there’s no escaping it: these characters are just awfully written. The actors do a terrible job. The only function of their roles seems to be an excuse for homophobic stereotypes to be portrayed on screen. I read of a Bond poll that listed their two characters as the worst villains in 007 history. That is not a surprise.
As for the plot, it’s about Blofeld’s dastardly plan to use diamonds as a method to build a giant frickin laser and hold the world hostage for ransom. That old chestnut. There are moments to enjoy: a truly well-done car chase sequence through downtown Las Vegas is a clear highlight.
The pre-title credit sequence is solid as well, as Bond beats up baddies to find out where Blofeld is at. It’s mostly downhill from there.
The majority of the picture is set in Las Vegas, but the filmmakers don’t seem to take full advantage of what seems like a dream location for 007. Other than the car chase scene, Diamonds Are Forever actually looks more drab than previous Bond entries. On the other hand, the production design of Ken Adam is, as always, impeccable. The picture did manage to do robust numbers at the box office, no doubt due to Connery’s return. It earned $43 million in the U.S., placing it third on 1971’s top grossers.
Connery is always rock solid, but he certainly isn’t given the type of high quality material we’ve come to expect for him. Diamonds Are Forever is a major disappointment. It’s hard for me to not recommend a Bond movie to friends. If you’re a fan of the franchise, I would say to see them all. However, if you’re one of the rare people in the world who have yet to see a 007 flick, I’d probably name a lot of other 007 adventures to view before this one. The film is definitely the first of the series, so far, that I found a lot more to complain about than praise. For a swan song in the official 007 series, Connery deserved better. A lot better.
Here are the facts:
Film: Diamonds Are Forever
U.S. Release Date: December 14, 1971
Director: Guy Hamilton
Screenplay: Richard Maibaum and Tom Mankiewicz
Bond: Sean Connery
Main Villain: Ernst Stavro Blofeld (Charles Gray)
Main Bond Girl: Tiffany Case (Jill St. John)
Theme Song: “Diamonds Are Forever” – performed by Shirley Bassey
Budget: $7.2 million
Worldwide Box Office: $116 million
My James Bond blog series will return in “The 007 Files: Live and Let Die”
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